Frequently Asked Questions
Here are answers to some common questions from expectant mothers who are considering adoption.
How do I know I am making the right decision?
There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. The fear of regret is a very real one for many women considering adoption. It’s normal to question your thoughts and feelings about such a difficult decision at any point during the process. Only you know what is best for you and your baby. Take your time and carefully consider all of the reasons why you are exploring adoption and remind yourself of those reasons.
How do I tell other people about my adoption plan?
Once you’ve made your decision, you can tell whomever you choose. Some women share their adoption plan with just a few close friends or family, while others are comfortable sharing it with anyone who asks. If you decide to tell others in your life about your adoption plan, telling people one at a time or in small groups may be easier than telling everyone at once. Telling those you think will be most supportive first may give you the courage and support you need to tell the rest.
Can my parents or other family members prevent me from placing baby for adoption?
No. Adoption is entirely your choice. Your parents or other relatives cannot legally prevent you from placing your baby for adoption.
Can I be involved in choosing my baby’s adoptive family?
Yes! As a potential birthmother, most adoption service providers encourage you to choose a family you feel would be a good fit for you and your baby. They can help you choose a family and contact them in a way you’re comfortable with. If you want, you can spend time with them on your own to get to know them better. Many expectant mothers meet their adoptive families for dinner, go to doctor’s appointments together, talk on the telephone, and/or write to each other. It’s totally up to you how open or private you want your relationship to be.
How will I know I chose a good family for my baby?
Before a family is eligible to adopt, they must complete a home study process through their state. The home study is a thorough and invasive process that lasts about three to four months on average. It includes a full FBI background check and an in-depth evaluation of their finances, marital stability, lifestyle, personalities, physical and mental health, medical history, background, education, reasons for adopting, and much more. All families who successfully complete this difficult process are prepared to be parents in every way and will provide a safe, stable, and loving home for your baby. Since you have the freedom to choose an adoptive family for your baby, you can be confident that whichever family you choose will give your child the best possible life.
What are the types of adoption I can choose from?
You have the option of choosing an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, or a closed adoption. With an open adoption or semi-open adoption, you can have contact with the family and the baby before and after the adoption. With a closed adoption, you can have contact with the family before the adoption if you wish, but there is no contact with the family or your baby after the adoption.
Will it cost me anything to put my baby up for adoption?
No. As a potential birthmother, adoption services are provided at no cost to you. In fact, you may be eligible for certain types of financial assistance based on the laws in your state.
What sort of financial assistance is available for me?
Depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to receive financial assistance for a variety of pregnancy-related expenses, including rent, food, utilities, transportation, maternity clothes, medical fees, and legal fees. Your social worker will work with you to figure out a solution that meets your personal financial needs and ensures you will be taken care of during your pregnancy.
Will I be able to spend time with my baby at the hospital?
Through the process of creating an adoption plan with an adoption professional, you will be able to spend as much or as little time as you wish with your baby in the hospital following the birth. If you want the hospital experience to be a special one that includes just you and your baby, then that can be arranged. Or, if you wish to spend as much time as possible with your baby and the adoptive family together, that may be arranged as well. It’s completely up to you and what you’re comfortable with.
What if I’m in labor and haven’t made an adoption plan yet?
Can I still choose adoption?
Yes, you can choose adoption even when you are at the hospital in labor or have already had your baby. This is not an unusual situation. Nearly all adoptive families are ready and willing to travel anywhere in the country at a moment’s notice.